The Squeaky Wheel

As an individual, a nation, and a culture, we choose the future of our world and society.  Our voice is heard even when silent.  Apathy is a choice with long-reaching effects.  The vocal minority rules the apathetic majority on many occasions.  To avoid such an outcome, let your voice be heard.  My mother emphasized this sentiment when she said, "The squeaky wheel gets the grease."  The spirit of democracy is not to control people.  Freedom to choose, even poorly, is a right we all desire.  Protecting that choice has resulted in wars, heartache, and sacrifice throughout the ages.  Sadly it remains a necessary endeavor even today.

Critical Knots

A knot is a primitive method of securing a line in an attempt to protect a load.  Designed to hold strong in times of stress when pressure is great, a slip results in unpredicted damage and catastrophic events.  As a Boy Scout, I learned many knots and mastered most.  My objective was not a matter of securing cargo, but merely of mastery.  Of them all, it was the square knot that became my greatest challenge.  Performed in two efforts, the latter created my test: fold left or fold right?



Recommit to Virtue: Part 10 of 10 - Virtuous Living Leads to Peaceful Living

Few of us possess this Gandhi-like commitment to change the world for the better, but all of us can personally polish off a rough edge or two.  Our greatest gift to the world is through the nurturing of the rising generation to the importance of virtue in their lives.  To avoid these eight societal mistakes, we must embrace a life of virtuous living.  We are so busy and carrying so many pressures in our daily lives that it is easy to lose sight of the importance of such a quest. 



Recommit to Virtue: Part 9 of 10 - Gratitude or Wrath

The mistake that Arun Gandhi added to his grandfather's original seven is rights without responsibility. Arun Gandhi’s insight in developing an eighth error of humanity revealed that each of the proceeding seven blunders began with what many would consider a human right. The eighth human error added the dimension of the responsibilities that accompany rights. In our self-absorbed society, rights are perceived and wrathfully demanded as an entitlement that is void of all personal responsibility. Each right is a freedom, but if used irresponsibly, will be lost. The synergy of rights can elevate us if balanced by a simple attitude of gratitude which nullifies the entitlement mentality because we accept accountability and responsibility for these privileges. In expressing thanks for all things we recognize the contribution of others to our own well-being and personal peace.



Recommit to Virtue: Part 8 of 10 - Integrity or Greed

Gandhi’s seventh societal blunder is politics without principle.  Principle-based integrity is built on sincere accountability.  In the political arena, those who seek power too often engage in actions deemed unethical, deceitful, and based on personal greed.  Leaders act without principle and assume that the end good will redeem the method of execution.  Gandhi’s greatest contribution was his ability to fuse his spiritual values with practical politics.  His objective was to spiritualize the political through a focus on humankind. 



Recommit to Virtue: Part 7 of 10 - Obedience or Gluttony



The sixth mistake of society as identified by Gandhi is worship without sacrifice.  The spirit of respect is lost when we begin to worship things. Gluttonous spending is now a cultural conviction with little thought of personal sacrifice.  We want it all, we want it now, and we want it without effort.  The attitude of justice and obedience is lost as many worship at the altar of the marketplace where consumption is king.  Without personal responsibility, many believe in the economist’s rhetoric of the “invisible hand” determining and controlling the flow of goods and services where the “end justifies the means.”  Free markets and consumerism can improve mankind, but only if treated as tools and methods used with discipline and sacrifice. 

Recommit to Virtue: Part 6 of 10 - Cleanliness or Lust

Science without humanity is the fifth of Gandhi’s blunders.  We must ask ourselves if all science, and the attending technological advancements, is positive?  Technology without clean, pure purpose leads to inhumanity.  Is the promised utopia helpful, or is production for the masses superior?  Hitler’s scientist performed with great efficiency, but was what they did truly beneficial?  American scientists indirectly killed thousands in Asia in the name of freedom.  Stem-cell research is driving “infant harvesting.”  In these and countless other examples, we wonder, who is considering the influence on humanity?  Who is monitoring the impact on our bodies, our environments, and our minds?  It is not the technology that is negative, but rather it is the lustful use of it that determines its morality.  As life gets faster, bigger, and increasingly more threatening, we must slow down and think about the personal and environmental impact of our scientific and technological breakthroughs.  We must demand order and purpose to ensure that science does not overshadow humanity.



Recommit to Virtue: Part 5 of 10 - Courage or Cowardice

Gandhi identified commerce without morality as a common societal mistake.  It requires courage to uphold moral values.  When we face our fears and challenges, we display courage.  Commerce, on the other hand, is capitalism, and by its very nature, if it goes unchecked, will lead to cowardice as displayed in corruption, abuse, manipulation, squandering, hording, subversion, and greed.  Business has become a religion for many; it is powerful, defiant, and worshipped by devout believers in the cause of making money.  The executive call of “fiduciary responsibility” places an amoral directive to unethical practices.  Depersonalized and debased, executives practice the craft of business, and then overcompensate themselves accordingly.  They tout ennobling mission statements without integrity and without morality.  They lack courage as they succumb to their passions.

Recommit to Virtue: Part 4 of 10 - Wisdom or Envy

The third societal blunder is knowledge without character.  Gandhi is one of the best know figures of the 20th century, and he is considered to be full of wisdom.  Yet, he held no title or position.  He is remembered because his life was a message of virtuous living.  Much of our existence today is embodied on empirical, rational, logical, and quantitative knowledge and information.  Knowledge, however, is not wisdom.  The virtues that build character and wisdom are often neglected in the popular pursuit of ever-changing data.  Likewise, fads and fashions promoted through the media dominate personal and business affairs.  In contrast, a business operating on virtuous intent focuses on placing products and services of value into the marketplace.

Recommit to Virtue: Part 3 of 10 - Humility or Vanity

Pleasure without consequence is the second of Gandhi’s societal blunders.  This societal error is the denial of responsibility, and the rejection of liability for actions; it is a complete lack of humility.  Pleasure can include gastronomic contentment, tactile gratification, or sexual satisfaction.  When these pleasurable activities are pursued without discipline or consequence, they become destructive.  In our lucrative society, money most often drives this thoughtless, lustful pleasure-seeking.  We “shop until we drop” or “what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas” with no thought of the significance of our actions or the outcome of our choices.  From corporate profits to physical ease and gratification, we pursue our whims and wishes without conscious conscience confirmation or reasonable reflection of our responsibility.  We submit to the passing impulses of our excessive vanity.

Recommit to Virtue: Part 2 of 10 - Industry or Sloth

The first societal blunder Gandhi identified is wealth without work.  In modern capitalism there are countless ways individuals and businesses seek to obtain wealth without work, or, as Dante described it, they exist in a state of sloth.  Disproportionate rewards for efforts invested through speculation and the leveraging of assets, as well as human capital, are the nature and foundation of profitable business.  Gandhi advanced the notion that the greater there is worker ownership in the effort, and a commitment to industry, the healthier will be the balance.



Recommit to Virtue: Part 1 of 10 - The Courage to Choose Virtue over Vice

We all have lofty aspirations for success and peace, but lying side by side are the impulses of immediate pleasure.  Virtues are desired behaviors or skills that are earned through practice and discipline.  A vice is the byproduct of habitually following impulses and desires. Virtues are uplifting and inspiring, whereas vices are generally negative and behaviorally limiting.

Recommit to Virtue: The Struggle Within

There is a story told of a Native American warrior in the sunset of his days, who is passing on life truths to his grandson.  He begins, “A fight is going on inside of me.  It’s a terrible fight between two mighty wolves: one with beautiful flowing black fur and the other radiant white.”  He explains, “The shadowy one is Evil.  He is vanity, wrath, envy, lust, cowardice, greed, gluttony, sloth, and fear.  The glowing one is Good. He is humility, courage, cleanliness, obedience, industry, integrity, wisdom, gratitude and peace.  Son, you have this same fight raging inside of you.  So does everyone who has ever occupied this ground.”  The boy looked confused, and after a moment, asked, “Which wolf will win, Grandfather?”  There is a story told of a Native American warrior in the sunset of his days, who is passing on life truths to his grandson.  He begins, “A fight is going on inside of me.  It’s a terrible fight between two mighty wolves: one with beautiful flowing black fur and the other radiant white.”  He explains, “The shadowy one is Evil.  He is vanity, wrath, envy, lust, cowardice, greed, gluttony, sloth, and fear.  The glowing one is Good. He is humility, courage, cleanliness, obedience, industry, integrity, wisdom, gratitude and peace.  Son, you have this same fight raging inside of you.  So does everyone who has ever occupied this ground.”  The boy looked confused, and after a moment, asked, “Which wolf will win, Grandfather?”  The old warrior counseled, “The one you feed, son.  The one you feed!”

Personal Peace Part 4 of 4: How Do You Want to be Remembered?

Why is peace so rare, so fragile, so tenuous, and so easily disrupted?  How can we become more like the yogi who lie on beds of nails or walk on white-hot coals and receive no bodily harm, but are able to remain peaceful and tranquil throughout?   Peace is more than the opposite of war.  Gandhi’s admonition, “There is no way to peace; peace is the way,” aligns to that of Buddha: “Do not seek the peace without, peace comes from within.”   What then is this inner peace Gandhi and Buddha advocate?  How do we achieve it and sustain it?  What challenges calmness, serenity and tranquility?  What annoying, distressing, irritating, antagonizing, or disruptive events spoil our peace?  Irritants are everywhere and they beg us to react to them, to focus upon them, and to concentrate on their urgent cry.  Instead we must eliminate these distractions from our consciousness. 

Personal Peace Part 3 of 4: Stability in the Storm

True stability rests on issues more enduring than current matters.  Peace can be found in the storm, calmness can be felt during the fight, and security can be achieved in the heat of battle.  Fear, however, defeats peace because it rises out of feelings of isolation and scarcity; it destroys our perspective of security.  Anger also opposes peace as it manifests itself in a series of uncommunicated fears generated internally.  Hostility, wrath, and revenge are responses to this perceived fear.  When adrenaline does the thinking, our emotions will flow with the chemical tide.  Frenzied feelings of paranoia, anxiety, and trauma are easily imagined during such times.  This agitated feeling seems to be more the norm today rather than the exception.  Sometimes we become so extreme and fearful that we are offended or threatened over everything and anything.  We feel so insecure that we lash out in defense before even attempting to understand a situation.  All of this opposes personal feelings of peace.



Personal Peace Part 2 of 4: A Kind, Gentle, Peaceable Person

Recently I attended the funeral of my last living uncle on my father’s side.  He was a good man who never attained fame or glory.  He was my favorite uncle when I was young.  As I reflect upon my memories of him, a common thread is visible.  He was always happy and in a cheerful spirit.  When I visited last, he was worn down with the process of aging, but there was still his contagious smile always with a compliment to offer, always positive, always helping, and always cheerful.  As his funeral service was drawing to a close some final remarks were offered.  While the speaker’s thoughts developed, he began to describe Uncle Sterling.  His voice became clear, paced, and deliberate.  “Sterling,” he said, “was a kind, gentle, peaceable man, and we are all going to deeply miss his soothing influence.”  This comment permeated my soul and stayed with me the remainder of the day and well into the night.  In fact, here I am months later putting these thoughts down on paper.  What did the speaker mean by “a kind, gentle, peaceable man?”  The words sounded so nice and enviable to me.  What I would give if I were so fortunate to have someone utter these sentiments about me at the end of my days.  As I reflected upon the words individually, and then compared them to the man in question, I had to concur fully.  Of all the men I have had the fortune to be acquainted with, Sterling was indeed the kindest, gentlest, and most peaceable man I have known.



Personal Peace Part 1 of 4: Peace Cannot be Purchased

As evidenced through the media, our culture doesn’t really promote healthy feelings about ourselves.  I’ve determined that this world is a rough, demanding, and unsafe place, and consequently it is easy to feel insecure, discontented, and dissatisfied. Sadly, it’s all about the vanity of deficiencies: what I don’t have, what I lack, what I’m missing, who’s winning, and why I am not.   All of this competition leads to feeling anything but peaceful.

My Child

You are my child.  You are unique.  You are special.  You are one of a kind, an individual.  Your birth was a celebration.  Each accomplishment of your development added to the joy that makes up the rich memory of my life.  You are my meaning, but not an object or possession.  You are not a means to fulfill my emptiness, but rather the whole purpose for my being.  You are the select blend of your mother and my genetic codes; a little bit of this and a portion of that.  You have been placed to grow alongside your brothers and sisters who are similar, yet individual.  You share characteristics and aspects of personality from a long line of great people who are linked to a royal lineage of grand lives and prestigious souls.  Not everything you will experience will be positive.  Not everything you will experience will be pleasant.  Yet, all of it is necessary to make you who you will become.  Loved equally as a member of the family, yet valued and cherished as individuals, you must go and find your destiny, be it great or small.  Spread your wings, stretch them long and wide.  Soar with the best, and don’t fear failure.  This life is but a short time.  The saddest thing is not to fail but the remorse of saying, “It might have been.”  My love for you is real.  Love is not a quantity to be measured and dispensed; it is an unending, expanding gift.  Without end, it cannot be taken.  Once given it is there for eternity embedded deep within the very fibers of our souls.  I will hold this gift of knowing you close to my heart for eternity.  You are never alone.  You are my child.

childofvirtue.com

Families, Like Earthen-Filled Dams, are Vulnerable to the Waves of the World that Seek to Destroy Peace

The earthen-filled dam is a cost effective method of preserving spring runoff for use during the hot summer days. Without it there would be no crops in the deserts of the earth. Relatively inexpensive to build when compared to the over-engineered concrete structures that hold back massive river flows, these irrigation reservoirs dot the countryside of the farming communities of the world. Early spring rains sustain the young crops naturally, but just as the peak demand for moisture is reached the rain stops abruptly.  Within days the crop is lost to the dry hot sun if not irrigated.

A Monument of Courage and Resilience in the Midst of Catastrophe

There, alongside a heavily traveled trail in the woods stands a mighty pine, distinctive from all around it. It represents a unique life lived in spite of similar circumstances to its sister pines.  By trunk width, it is one of the largest around, a testament to its ability to survive and endure nature’s challenges.  Shorter than many of its peers, it has compensated by the breadth of its canopy.  Upon closer glance it is discovered that five distinct trunks have formed about 10 feet above the ground, protruding horizontally at first, and then abruptly, all advance vertically.  Enormous masses initially entangled in confusion, these trunks unite to eventually stretch skyward.  Deep within the center of the entanglement stands what is left of the original trunk, that is now withered, gray, cracked, and dead.

Changing Lives One Word and One Touch at a Time

One of the greatest gifts we can offer a child is a feeling of security and safety.  How we communicate this plays a huge role in the child’s development of self worth.  I’ve been told that the majority of effective communication is non-verbal.  In other words my expressions, my tone of voice, my body position, and my movements all convey a profound message of their own.    Information that is read and interpreted by the listener either validates the words spoken, or stands in opposition to them.  All words must be confirmed by the body language or else doubt, misunderstanding, and hurt can result.   Words, both written and uttered, document the formal message, but they do not validate it.  The resulting conflict, from radically different messages, both verbal and non-verbal, confuse the process.  Just as words with multiple interpretations and varying cultural constraints can confound the communication, non-verbal messages compound the setting even more. 

I Can Save "One"

Few of us will get a paragraph in the history books.  Great futures are achieved by others.  The Nobel Prize will be presented to a critical few, but not me or any of my acquaintances.  No one I know will have a building, bridge or road named after them.  The news is overflowing with hourly events, but few will impact my life directly.  The truth is most of us are average, common, and typical.  The uniqueness of our individual souls goes without question, but the timing of world events generally misses most of us.  In spite of this, we are all important and capable of becoming a blessing to the lives of others.  Our actions may not lead to solutions for all human suffering, but they can dramatically affect “one.”  I may not cure all known diseases, but I can ease the suffering of “one.”  I will not save all, but I can save “one.” 

childofvirtue.com

My Search for Meaning: From "Knowing" to "Getting" to "Becoming"

When I began college I was under the misunderstanding that my objective was to digest a discrete identifiable quantity of facts.  Once obtained, I would then know all and could share it with the rest of the world.  A few degrees later, two things became apparent: one, at least half of what I learned proved to be wrong or obsolete within seven years, and  two, I was not digesting a set quantity of facts, but was instead learning how to learn.  This became critical when considering the future half-life of my degree-based knowledge that would not sustain me beyond the student loan payoff.  Unless I could find a method of collecting more timely data in an ongoing, as-needed manner, I was in trouble.  

Children Are Our Responsibility

It seems that we are all responsible to some degree for the health and happiness of humanity's children.  Just as our feelings of protection and care came from the relationships built with our parents, so our chidlren's similar feelings are related directly to us.  We must extend this influence of unconditional love to all children, beginning with those in our immediate family and then moving outward.  Start with a smile as you pass a child, and then move towards giving of time and talents in neighborhood and community events.  Be a volunteer, make a donation, and get involved in teaching and nurturing the children of the Millennial Generation.  We cannot afford to shirk this important responsibility!

Family Relationships that Forge the Future

I am the father of seven unique, dynamic, individual children, each with strengths and each with flaws.  They were born very close together all in the span of ten years.  In addition, they grew close on property out of town and away from neighbors.  Out of necessity they became friends and mentors to one another.  Observing them over the span of 30+ years I've come to a few conclusions about families, parenting and such.

Avoiding the Acquisition Race by Taking Charge of Life and Finding the Courage to Change our Level of Contentment

AS A SOCIETY WE HAVE BEEN DECEIVED!  Playing upon our vanities, the marketing folks have convinced us all that bigger, newer, faster, and safer is always better.  They have successfully sold us, amid our ever-growing egos, on the belief that satisfaction and contentment are directly tied to acquisition, impact, achievement, and control.  This just isn't true.  History shows that it never has been true and the current world condition indicates that it won't be true in the future either.  Discontent is the byproduct of this type of reasoning.  Thinking this way ensures that we never feel that we have enough: enough money, enough toys, enough possessions, enough security, enough attention, and enough significance.  As such, we all compete for limited resources in an attempt to feel safe and appreciated.  The reality is that there is sufficient for all.  The reality is that contentment and satisfaction are not found in things.  The reality is that contentment is a state of mind attained only through discipline and determination.  Happiness is not secured through ease, but through self-mastery.

Managing the Ego by Balancing Humility and Pride in the Search for Meaning in Life

The Latin term for self is ego.  We each perform a 24/7 assessment of our lives: every event, act, and competition.  We compare where current performances stand with personal perceptions.  Innocent at first, within time, this process becomes self fulfilling.  We see what we choose to see.  Numerous ego defense mechanisms are employed to maintian this personal illusion.  Ego is not based on the reality of what others witness, but, rather on what we have chosen to believe.  In our search for meaning in life, managing our ego is paramount in the balance between humility and pride.

Meaning in Society

Where two or more individuals exist in a given environment, a society in the loosest form has begun.  Personal, professional, and social relationships are the foundation of this society.  Such a civilization is based upon mutually agreed upon self-benefiting rules.  Basic and often unspoken, these rules define the conditions of membership.  A society carries with it an identity.  Members individually determine that it is advantageous to adhere to these rules for their own safety, security, and collective identity.  Self centered impulses and desires are controlled through the promise of greater success tomorrow.  Once the basic needs of food and shelter are secured, the desire for social interaction, attention, achievement, and attainment arise.  All of these are driven by the need to control, and control of self is regulated by the ego.  All relationships have a common denominator and this is “you.”

Birth: From a Life of Peace and Predictability to a Life of Challenge and Change

There is a debate about when life begins.  I believe that at some point in the womb, the growing fetus becomes conscious of its surroundings: the warmth, the safety, the peace, the predictability.  At the moment of birth, however, the infant enters an environment that is hostile; it is cold, loud, intense, and bright.  The excruciating journey from the security of the mother’s womb is full of struggle and pain.  Arriving naked and confused, this new setting is harsh and demanding in comparison.  The pain of birth instantly creates dissonance between one’s current environment and past peace.  The arrival begins with the need for food and reassuring touch.  Pain leads to tears, and crying leads to relief.  To exist, strong instinctive survival behaviors take over to ensure safety and security.  Initial peace at this level is equated to the attainment of food and touch, as well as the avoidance of pain.  It is soon learned that tears and noise influence the surroundings.  Control of the hostile environment has begun. 

The Challenge of Life

Born self-centered and self-absorbed, we all react either consciously or unconsciously, to the need for survival and the desire for personal gratification.  From our first breathe of life, impulses surface as environmental situations are presented to us that challenge our very existence.  Resilience to such challenges is the key.  This primal level of survival concerns itself with self preservation and stimulation. Left completely unchecked, most of us will become self-serving, gluttonous, and lazy. 

Courage to Change

Never in the history of the world has there been a greater time for people to embrace a life of virtue. A life based upon time-proven values can be easily overshadowed by the clamor and turbulence of schedules and deadlines, of economic worries and stress, and of environmental and equality issues.  Virtue-based training must be re-established within our hearts so that we are able to positively influence the rising generation, the children of the Millennial Generation, a generation who will lead us to greater peace. Peace begins one individual, one family, one community, and one nation at a time. We must commit to change;  change that will enable us to see ourselves as we really are, to love ourselves as we really are, to cherish our fellow travelers for who they truly are, and to embrace the peaceful life we deserve. 

Meaning in Family Can Change a Life

Each of us, regardless of our current age, is a child.  We have mothers and fathers, individuals who parent us.  Some parents are biological while others are not.  As a young child, we learn much from these individuals who work to create a family for us.  Despite our physical growth, intellectual advancement, and emotional maturity, the title of child remains ours by the reality that our birth resulted in the formation of a family. 

Change a Life - Teach Resilience

As a father of a large family, I know the value of teaching children to be resilient.  Resilience is the ability to cope with stress and adversity.  Resilient individuals learn the process of ‘bouncing back’ after stressful situations or of ‘steeling oneself’ against difficult circumstances.  This process is most effectively learned through the intervention and support of family and community. 

The 8 Virtues...Mottos of Character

The 8 Virtues crest is an icon in the Child of Virtue character education program.  Each of the 8 Virtues is represented by a specific color and symbol.  Each virtue is clearly defined and a simple motto helps children to remember and internalize the meanings.  For more information visit  childofvirtue.com

 

The 8 Virtues Crest...An Icon of Character

A crest is an emblem or badge which is a sign of achievement, and represents the beliefs or standards of a person, family, state or group.  In the past, crests often appeared on shields as a way of identifying members of a group.  It is a visual reminder of important beliefs and values that guide the individual or group.

Delayed Gratification

Success is based upon delayed gratification: postponing the desires and pleasures of the moment for a greater tomorrow.  The ability to delay personal satisfaction and contentment is founded upon our capacity to commit, plan, obey, and work.  These skills directly correspond to the virtues of courage, cleanliness, obedience, and industry.

Success and Peace

For most people, there are two objectives in life:  one is the attainment of success, and the other is peace of mind.  We can all learn the skills needed to achieve success in life, but success does not guarantee peace of mind.  The CHILD OF VIRTUE program teaches that there is a pivotal moment of personal honesty that ultimately leads to peace.  If integrity is not maintained at critical crossroads in our quest for success, we fall prey to the vices of greed, wrath and envy, all of which are fed by fear.